you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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