i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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