Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
