The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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