would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
