She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
