and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
