this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
