One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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