just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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