i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
