he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
