Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
