I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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