peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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