i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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