margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
