You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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