Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
