I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Are we still banned from the library?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
