East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My cat gives me a boner
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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