We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
