Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
