Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize