Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
