ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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