I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
