so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
wow bdsm is so cute
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