just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
