Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
