How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
we should paint friendship bongs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
