Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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