I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Enjoy the penises
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
