just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
