You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
