If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
