have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
