I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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