dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
