Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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