i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
