just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
