Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
