Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
