Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
