the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
either way he was missing a nipple.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
