need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
