I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize