you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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