a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
