A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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