why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
