That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
