it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this boner is exhausting
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
